Broke.

Taglish, ha.

Thanks.

Sige. Sabihin nating slf pity ‘tong ginagawa ko. Pero I’m just so hurt na. I don’t want to live any longer and if I do, all I’d think about is killing myself because that’d be the only thing that’ll make me happy. I’m so full of hurt that dying would be nothing already. At first, yeah I was happy. I was happy that I know I still have friends. Friends who I can trust, love and be with for the rest of my life [I hope.] Pero, everytime na maisip ko lahat ng nangyari sakin, damn. Please. Just kill me. I’m so hurt, I don’t know what else to do. I want to give up my life. I want to let go of everything already. ‘Cause I’m just too hurt. Yeah, I love him and that’s what hurts the most. Thinking of all the things that has happened and still end up loving him. I’m so hurt by that. I was so stupid to hang on. I’m the type who says let go when it’s too much to people and yet, when it’s me, I still keep hanging on. But im trying to learn to let go – of everything. Everything.

I don’t want this anymore. I can’t stop. I hate everything ive done, good or bad. I’m so sick.

I want to give up.

I want to let go.

Please.

AYOKO NA.

bianca de dios: Kaya mo din yan.
Elora Picson: no.
Elora Picson: i cant.
Elora Picson: i know i may seem like an optimist or everything. pero im not a happy person at all.
Elora Picson: i try to be.
Elora Picson: kasi i want to move on from the past.
Elora Picson: when i was so emo and shit,.
Elora Picson: pero its who i am.
Elora Picson: im not a happy person.
Elora Picson: i can never be.
Elora Picson: it's just not me. i know that deep inside me, no matter how hard i try, i will always be in need.
Elora Picson: and i cant stop that.

Promise me you guys’ll have a party when I die.